


A Misunderstanding

by Color_Dreams



Category: Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Help, Hurt, M/M, Misunderstanding, Pining, first fic ever aaaAAAA, language warning, very mild substance abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 00:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12243711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Color_Dreams/pseuds/Color_Dreams
Summary: "You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me."Those words ring in Alex's head, refusing to let go.





	A Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing I've written outside of school so. be nice please. The angst is Strong with this one.

“G’night, Alex.”

 

“Goodnight, Ryland.”

 

Alex waited for the dull thump of Ryland’s door shutting. Curled up on the couch, he let go of the breath he’d been holding in for the past hour or so.

 

_ “You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” _

 

Alex pulled the blanket tighter. He still couldn’t quite process it.

 

_ “I’m the only thing that has happened to you.” _

 

It had been a knee-jerk response. A snappy comeback to hide how shocked he was. The words had cut deep and precisely, like a paper cut that didn’t sting at first. Alex had gotten so caught up in the thrill of Blood Match that he hadn’t had time to properly reflect until the ride home.

 

That’s when he had started to fall apart.

 

He had been just as happy as everyone else, enjoying the defeat over Steamin’, when Kamal had brought it up.

 

“So where were you two idiots right before Blood Match?”

 

The rest of the van had gone silent and stared at them.

 

“I uh, needed some time to myself. Ya know, to sort shit out. Alex was camped out back here,” Ryland replied.

 

Thinking back on it had caused Ryland’s words to come into his mind. Alex had scooted a few inches away from him. The rest of the group returned to their cheerful banter. Meanwhile, Alex was focused on keeping his breathing steady. He was the team coach, there was no way in hell  _ he’d _ be the one to bring the mood down. There was absolutely no way he’d break in front of everyone, for the whole world to see. And so, when they’d gotten home, Alex hadn’t so much as glanced at Ryland as he said goodnight and settled onto the couch. He was the cheery, happy go-lucky coach, not the depressed, pathetic guy with abandonment issues.

Alex’s breathing was becoming more ragged. How could he? All this time, Alex had only done what was in Ryland’s best interest. He’d worked so hard to make eSports People work. He knew it made Ryland happy, to be in a group of friends and do something he was passionate about. Hell, no matter how begrudgingly he tried to hide it, Alex  _ knew _ this was the happiest Ryland had been in years. So, why did he resent him for making it all happen?

Alex choked back a sob. It just didn’t make sense! And why was he so upset? After all, he was just some homeless weirdo who had overstayed his welcome. Ryland had every reason to be pissed. He should’ve seen it coming.

But… he was probably just crazy but, Alex had thought that just maybe, there was something more to their relationship. Maybe they could be something more than roommates, than friends. So it hurt even more when Ryland said that he wished that he’d never met Alex.

Alex flipped over so that his face was pressed into the cushions. God, why did he care so much? He knew he had a problem. The threat of nobody caring about him loomed over him constantly. When he did find someone who seemed to care, he’d attach himself and never let go. And that’s exactly what he’d done. He’d gone and gotten attached to Ryland. He should’ve known. It always ended this way.

It was all too much. Sobs wracked his body as he sat up. Alex covered his mouth with both hands and rocked back and forth. It was his own fault. It was  _ all his fault _ . He was pathetic. Useless. He deserved it. His bandmates had left him behind because he wasn’t good enough, and his parents had done the same. Not good enough, never good enough. The words rang through his mind, refusing to leave. It was no wonder Ryland didn’t want him around. Really, what had he ever been except be a massive fuck-up? He wasn’t even a good coach. The team still couldn’t work together as well as they should be, and they still hadn’t won despite all the hard work and effort they had all put in. He wasn’t even a good roommate. The two had been living together for close to a year, and not once had Alex managed to keep a steady job.

Nothing. He was nothing. He should probably just leave now, they’d all be better off without him.

Fuck, he was getting light-headed again. He grabbed for a pillow and hugged it tight, gasping for breath between sobs. He couldn’t care less if anyone heard him at this point. He was too hysterical to care about something so insignificant. Briefly, he wished he was hugging Ryland.

“God _ dammit! _ ” he seethed. He slammed the pillow into his lap, before bringing it to his chest again.

“ _ Why do I care so fucking much? _ ” he thought. Ryland had hurt him so badly, and yet the only thing that would soothe him was to be in his arms. And it was all because he was such a fucking mess; he was unloveable to anyone else. Sure, he had Lorenzo, and Sam, and even Kamal, but no one was as close as Ryland. Or were they even close anymore? He just didn’t know. His sobs were quickly growing into loud whimpering.

Alex was tired of feeling. Feelings had gotten him into this mess. 

“ _ Just a few beers, _ ” he thought.

Ah, yes, yet another flaw. Who could forget, he was an alcoholic, as well as a stoner. Whatever, his shortcomings wouldn’t hurt nearly as much when the alcohol numbed his mind. He popped off the first lid with a  _ snap!  _ And downed half of it in one long gulp. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


Alex was on his third(?) can when he heard a door creak. 

“Shit,” he mumbled, almost incoherently.

“Lex?” Ryland grumbled. He rubbed at his eyes, still bleary with sleep.

Alex looked up from the bottle he was busy working on. Ryland’s appearance made it blindingly obvious that he’d just woken up. His hair was frizzy and unkempt, and his shirt was rumpled and showed a bit of his stomach. His pajama pants were long and baggy, and his glasses were pushed up as he rubbed at his eyes.

Alex giggled tiredly, devoid of energy.  _ Cute. _

Ryland’s vision cleared as he sat at the other end of the couch.

“Alex? It’s three in the morning; what are you doing up drinking?”

Alex was silent, saying nothing, but only lazily gazing into Rylands brown eyes.

Ryland stared into Alex’s red-rimmed ones. He grabbed at Alex’s hand.

“Alex? Alex, what’s wrong?”

“‘S nothin.” he replied.

“Alex. C’mon bro.” Ryland said. Alex yanked his hand away, and his lip quivered. He lifted the bottle to his mouth to hide it.

Ryland intercepted the bottle before it made its way to Alex’s lips, and easily pried it out of his fingers.

“Look, man. You need to tell me what’s wrong.” Ryland set the bottle on the table next to them.

A wave of fresh tears flowed from Alex’s eyes. He shook his head, and hugged his legs to his chest.

Ryland sighed. “Alex. Please. You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

Alex heaved in air for a few seconds. “Whu diyaaa say aaaaat?” he wailed into his knees.

“Huh?” Ryland asked. He blinked.

Alex lifted his head a bit. “Why did ya saaaay that, Ry? I thought we were best friends!”

“Of course we’re best friends, Lexi.” Ryland replied.

“So why’d ya say it?” Alex asked again, looking a bit more desperate.

“U-uh,” Ryland stammered.

“You said I was the worst thing that ever happened to you!” he wailed.

A hot wave of regret and guilt washed over him as his heart sank. God, he was an idiot. He should’ve known sweet, naive Alex would take that the wrong way.

 

“Alex, I’m… so sorry bro. I didn’t mean it, I-I just-”

“T-then why’d ya say it?” he hiccuped.

“Look Lex I- I was was scared. I was scared shitless of letting the team down and I just, I let it all out on you. I’m so, so sorry.”

“For realsies?” Alex asked.

Part of him was shocked at how quickly Alex had accepted his apology. It didn’t seem right, somehow.

“For realsies,” Ryland confirmed, clapping a hand over Alex’s shoulder.

To Ryland’s dismay, Alex took this as an invitation for more physical contact. He clambered into Rylands lap, wrapped his arms around his neck, and nestled his head into his chest.

“Alex-,” Ryland grunted, perturbed.

Alex nestled into Ryland, and Ryland felt his breathing even out. The smell of booze, weed, and...candy? wafted up towards Ryland. It was disgusting, of course, but it was so utterly Alex that he had to smile a little. He looked so peaceful there, right in front of him.

Fine. It would be fine for just one night. 

Ryland hesitantly wrapped one arm around Alex’s back and the other behind his head. Alex’s messy curls found their way between Ryland’s fingers. Alex let out a happy sigh of contentment, and Ryland pulled him closer.

 

Their relationship wasn’t perfect; it never would be. That’s the way relationships worked. But in that moment of clarity in a drunken haze, Alex knew with absolute certainty that Ryland would always be there for him.

And that was all he needed.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! Critiques would be much appreciated!


End file.
